She dream of Paradise ❤
Round and round, it doesn’t allow you to be found;
For you lost immensely in the deep blue ocean
Whilst you always wished it to be the heaven;
As fancy as a skyline, rising you up like a lifeline;
Metaphors apart, considerations depart.
Bullied by the bitter truth, your path is no longer smooth;
Befuddled by where you stand, the whim no longer withstands.
Bravery neglects holding on, compulsive forces moving on;
To wherever it owns you, you have been espoused for this path;
The chosen one for your cup of chaos and certainty.
And with all of these imposed notions
You are still breathing fine, with your head under the ocean.
Today I gave up on something which is supposed to have no influence on me anymore. Something that was burdening my head, heavying my heart, confusing my thoughts, all leading to the same dooming corner. I gave it up not because I wanted to but out of no possible choice. I gave it up not because it did not matter but because it ate my last piece of hope. I gave it up not because I did not find a way but because it proved that it will never be my destination. I gave it up not because it took away all my self respect but because my emotions became the stage for entertainment. I gave it up not because it killed me but because it nurtured my despairing intuitions.
I had to give up on it so as to stop me from giving up on me further.
“You have not changed a bit!”, exclaimed an old friend of her.
Little did she know that..
She is not the same girl who used to be naive and worry over the simplest emotional discomfort. She is not the same girl who used to be people pleasing and understood them more on the positive side than she was supposed to. She is not the same girl who was happy to give infinite chances for the sun to rise in the west. She is not the same girl who cursed life for its thorns it laid on her path. She is not the same girl who suffered suffocating in the ocean of expectations, that broke her every single time. She is not the same girl who had no doubt in trusting people. She is not the same girl who once hoped life to be a box of chocolates that gets to treat you with jubilation. She is not the same girl who selflessly tried hard not to change.
Life happened and she did nothing but change.
“One last time”, the heart fooled the brain every single time.
I am kind of obsessed with my possessions, my people, my belongings to an extent that I do not want others to know and celebrate my favorites. But then when you are so proud of them, you need the world to awe them with jealousy. And here goes my on the loop playlist that consumes most part of my day. I am being thrifty having to consider various factors while designing this, as I blindly approve every work of some of my very dear artists(ARR, Ed, Lana to be precise) in the list out of unconditional love.
Naan Varuven, Naane Varugiren, Hamma, Avalum Naanum, Azhage Sugama, Vellai Pookal, Aaromale by ARR (Tamizh)
Unnakena Maele Nindrai, Sundari by Ilayaraja (Tamizh)
Eleanor Rigby, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Martha My Dear by The Beetles
Suspecious Minds, Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis
Always by Bon Jovi
Firefly, Give me Love, Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran
Madness, Aftermath, Unintended by Muse
Without you, Dark Paradise, Maha Maha by Lana Del
You Rock My World, Dangerous, Bad, Whatever Happens by MJ
Fix You, Magic by Coldplay
Truely Madley Deeply, Irresistable by One Direction
Distance, Lonely, Human by Christina Perri
Stone Cold, Without The Love by Demi Lovato
Depressed, Her Song by Eminem
Come and get it, Who Says by Selena
Little Me, Good Enough by Little Mix
Sugar, Maps by Maroon5
Our Song, Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor
1000 Times, Gravity by Sara Bareilles
Here by Alessia Cara
Ghosts, Lying To The Mirror by Aplin
Interlude by London Grammer
And the list and my heart as well will go on and on 😊
I wish you were here.