You can destroy the void only if you accept and dwell in it.
Round and round, it doesn’t allow you to be found;
For you lost immensely in the deep blue ocean
Whilst you always wished it to be the heaven;
As fancy as a skyline, rising you up like a lifeline;
Metaphors apart, considerations depart.
Bullied by the bitter truth, your path is no longer smooth;
Befuddled by where you stand, the whim no longer withstands.
Bravery neglects holding on, compulsive forces moving on;
To wherever it owns you, you have been espoused for this path;
The chosen one for your cup of chaos and certainty.
And with all of these imposed notions
You are still breathing fine, with your head under the ocean.
We are all victims, Anselmo
Our destinies are decided
By a cosmic roll of the dice
The winds of the stars
The vagrant breezes
Of fortune that blow from
The windmills of the Gods.
Round and round, I find myself sticking to the promise that I never owe.
I don’t want to play this game no more
I don’t wanna play it
I don’t want to stay ’round here no more
I don’t wanna stay here
Like rain on a Monday morning
Like pain that just keeps on going on
Look at all the hate they keep on showing
I don’t want to see that
Look at all the stones they keep on throwing
I don’t want to feel that
Like Sun that will keep on burning
I used to be so discerning
And I can hear the choirs keep on singing
Tell me what they’re saying
And I can hear the phone
It keeps on ringing
I don’t want to answer
I know that I used to listen
And I know I’ve become dismissive
In my recovery
I’m a soldier at war
I have broken down walls
Keep song-writing, my recovery.
Today I gave up on something which is supposed to have no influence on me anymore. Something that was burdening my head, heavying my heart, confusing my thoughts, all leading to the same dooming corner. I gave it up not because I wanted to but out of no possible choice. I gave it up not because it did not matter but because it ate my last piece of hope. I gave it up not because I did not find a way but because it proved that it will never be my destination. I gave it up not because it took away all my self respect but because my emotions became the stage for entertainment. I gave it up not because it killed me but because it nurtured my despairing intuitions.
I had to give up on it so as to stop me from giving up on me further.
Loving yourself the most will be your greatest accomplishment ever ❤