Posted in Acceptance, Change, Dream, Her, Life, People, Poem, Random, Recovery, Uncategorized

Game of Life

Round and round, it doesn’t allow you to be found;

For you lost immensely in the deep blue ocean

Whilst you always wished it to be the heaven;

As fancy as a skyline, rising you up like a lifeline;

Metaphors apart, considerations depart.

Bullied by the bitter truth, your path is no longer smooth;

Befuddled by where you stand, the whim no longer withstands.

Bravery neglects holding on, compulsive forces moving on;

To wherever it owns you, you have been espoused for this path;

The chosen one for your cup of chaos and certainty.

And with all of these imposed notions

You are still breathing fine, with your head under the ocean.

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Posted in Acceptance, Change, Life, People, Poem, Recovery, Story, Uncategorized, Untold, Words

My Recovery

I don’t want to play this game no more
I don’t wanna play it
I don’t want to stay ’round here no more
I don’t wanna stay here
Like rain on a Monday morning
Like pain that just keeps on going on

Look at all the hate they keep on showing
I don’t want to see that
Look at all the stones they keep on throwing
I don’t want to feel that
Like Sun that will keep on burning
I used to be so discerning

And I can hear the choirs keep on singing
Tell me what they’re saying
And I can hear the phone
It keeps on ringing
I don’t want to answer
I know that I used to listen
And I know I’ve become dismissive

In my recovery
I’m a soldier at war
I have broken down walls
I defined
I designed
My recovery

Keep soaring,
Keep song-writing, my recovery.

–James Arthur

Posted in Acceptance, Betrayal, Change, Dream, Her, Life, People, Uncategorized

Relinquish

Today I gave up on something which is supposed to have no influence on me anymore. Something that was burdening my head, heavying my heart, confusing my thoughts, all leading to the same dooming corner. I gave it up not because I wanted to but out of no possible choice. I gave it up not because it did not matter but because it ate my last piece of hope. I gave it up not because I did not find a way but because it proved that it will never be my destination. I gave it up not because it took away all my self respect but because my emotions became the stage for entertainment. I gave it up not because it killed me but because it nurtured my despairing intuitions.

I had to give up on it so as to stop me from giving up on me further.

Posted in Acceptance, Change, Her, Life, Memory, People, Random, Uncategorized

Aftermath

“You have not changed a bit!”, exclaimed an old friend of her.

Little did she know that..

She is not the same girl who used to be naive and worry over the simplest emotional discomfort. She is not the same girl who used to be people pleasing and understood them more on the positive side than she was supposed to. She is not the same girl who was happy to give infinite chances for the sun to rise in the west. She is not the same girl who cursed life for its thorns it laid on her path. She is not the same girl who suffered suffocating in the ocean of expectations, that broke her every single time. She is not the same girl who had no doubt in trusting people. She is not the same girl who once hoped life to be a box of chocolates that gets to treat you with jubilation. She is not the same girl who selflessly tried hard not to change.

Life happened and she did nothing but change.